You feel like something is going on with your teen. You’ve asked her if she’s ok, and if school is going well. You’ve noticed she hasn’t been hanging out with her closest friends, and you are worried. When your teen finally opens up to you, she says she has been dating someone at school. She shares that her boyfriend has been saying mean things in front of her friends, grabbed her phone out of her hand, and pushed her. Feelings rush through you. She’s dating? Someone grabbed her phone and pushed her? How did this happen? What should you say? These are really good questions, and I want to share ways to support your teen when it comes to Teen Dating Violence.

Unfortunately, this story is all too common. One in three teens (including boys) report experiencing some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships, including physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse. If you didn’t realize how high Teen Dating Violence numbers are, you are not alone. Four in five parents (81%) either don’t believe or don’t know if teen dating violence is an issue.

If your teen confides in you, and your first response is along the lines of, “You’re not supposed to be dating,” your teen may shut down and not be willing to discuss their experiences. They also may be worried about upsetting you or disappointing you. A supportive response would be, “That sounds really scary. I’m sorry that someone you like has been hurting you in these ways. That is not ok.” This validates your teen’s feelings, and allows the conversation to grow from there. Next you may want to ask, “What would make you feel safer?” Listen to your child’s thoughts and help them evaluate options. Teens need supportive adults to help them navigate systems. There are resources available for you and your child. Loveisrespect.org is the National Teen Dating Violence website and offers great articles and resources for teens, along with a helpline and chatline.

If you have younger children, begin talking to them about healthy friendship behaviors, including communication and boundaries. Start these conversations early. Navigating relationships is an important life skill, and can help children develop expectations for healthy relationships later in life.

Peaceful Paths, your local domestic violence network, educates youth in the community about Teen Dating Violence and partners with schools and organizations to teach teens about red and green flags, digital dating violence, boundaries and consent, and more. Let your school or organization know that you support Violence Prevention Education. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month, and it’s a great time to learn more about the most prevalent form of violence affecting today’s youth.

Editor’s note: This is the latest in a series of columns sponsored by Community Foundation of North Central Florida.